Montclair Presbyterian Church

Happy New Year!
I went to the gym on Monday and was surprised to find I couldn’t find a machine to work out on. Where did all these people come from? And what are they all doing in MY gym? Oh, of course, I remember – it’s national guilt-trip month, America’s favorite way to purge away the sinfulness of our holiday glut. All the consumerism and consumption leaves quite a hangover and so we collectively whip ourselves into shape for a few days — perhaps even all the way until February.

I’ve never been a big one for New Year’s resolutions, and never much succeeded at them either. Some of us can accomplish things simply by setting ourselves the task, and others (myself included) have to resort to tricks and illusions to force lifestyle changes. I am best at creating new habits when I structure them into my life, and the best way for me to do this is to sign up for commitments I can’t back out of. I know there must be some others of you out there who also announce your commitments as a way of creating accountability, so you’ll understand this: I’m going to meditate more this year, and I’m announcing it to anyone who will listen, in the hopes that when the benefits of meditation seem low, at least the cost of going back on my word might seem high.

Paul writes in his epistle to the Romans, “what I do, I do not want to do,” and perhaps January should be the national month of reading Romans (see chapter 7 and 8) as we begin to see our resolutions unravel at the seams. We understand that inner battle, when parts of us want things quite different from the other parts. Sometimes it’s hard to even begin finding which one of those parts might be our true Self. Paul counsels us to put all that striving and fighting in the past, to let go of the Mind-vs-Body struggle, and to live in the Spirit where we can know freedom and receive grace beyond what we could earn. For if we look with the eyes of the Spirit we can see Christ living within us, and know that the love which binds us is immeasurable. Yes, by all means, try hard to achieve your goals. But know that however we go forward into the New Year, whether we do it with graceful beauty or with a spectacular belly flop, all is held in the kind sight of Divine Love.

Every Blessing,
Talitha

If you follow me on facebook or twitter, you know that I have continued to stay active in various protests happening in and around Oakland. I spoke briefly of this as well in last week’s Contact. Many of you have expressed different degrees of support or reservation about this. There is a lot to say, of course. The “Black Lives Matter” movement is still forming and flexible, diverse and varied enough that people looking at it from different directions will see different pictures. I believe this diversity gives strength to the movement, and I love that it has sprung up many groups of people leading from the margins rather than one major leader directing from above. Still, others have refused to associate themselves with it because it is not coherent enough. One might rightly be upset by some of the groups who have affiliated themselves with the movement – those who include violence in their tactics, those who scream obscenities at the police or make extreme demands. I do not condone violence and hope you do not condone it either. But if we all stand back and wait until the movement has settled into a more perfect, pure, and peaceful form, we may ultimately find Christ asking us whether we would pass by a wounded person on the side of the road, or whether, like the Good Samaritan, we would take a risk in order to stand with “the least of these” in need.

I am making mistakes and learning as I seek to be a better non-Black ally in the quest for a society free of racism. Knowing that our church is overwhelmingly white despite our best intentions for inclusion, I offer these points to you in turn, which have been most helpful to me:

1. We need to keep the race conversation going. If we don’t demand it stays at the forefront of the media, race issues will quickly be replaced by holiday shopping stories. Our “national conversation about race” will only happen if it is fueled by eager participants. It is helpful for us to read or listen to commentary about racism and privilege, especially sources from People of Color (POC), and analyze, share, and reflect on how it informs our lives. Speakers need audiences, and tuning in or showing up to listen shows our commitment to keep the conversation from dying down.

2. We white people need to stay off the megaphone, letting POC lead while we follow, and amplifying the voices of those who are not being heard. If things aren’t going your way, just close your mouth or back away quietly rather than shouting the leaders down. If the media wants your opinion, redirect them to POC rather than enjoying the spotlight yourself.

3. We can all find ways to support from the sidelines. If marching at a protest is within your comfort zone, that’s great; if not, there are quiet actions such as silent vigils and speak-outs. If you are standing at the edge of your comfort zone, it can be helpful to bring a friend. People are working behind the scenes with legal defense, speaking at city council meetings, and in a myriad of other helpful ways. At a recent march there was a person who came up to our group and handed out water bottles, truly earning Jesus’ blessing: “whoever gives even a cup of cold water to one of the least of these in the name of a disciple… none of these shall lose their reward” (Mt 10:42). In the early days of LGBTQ movements this was of the first ways churches began to be involved, handing out cups of water as Gay Pride marches passed their doorsteps.

I’m not sure who to quote as I end this piece: Jesus as read by Mark 9:40, “whoever is not against us is for us,” or Jesus as read by Matthew 10:30, “whoever is not with me is against me, and whoever does not gather with me scatters.” The first begs us to see solidarity in all people of good will, while the second calls for commitment and action. Probably both are true. Whether you choose bold action or a quiet solidarity with those in need, I ask you to do it with all your heart.
Blessings,
Talitha

This past Friday, after a pleasant evening at Beer and Theology, I went to join the Black Lives Matter protests in downtown Oakland, in order to respond to the recent deaths of Eric Garner, Tamir Rice, Michael Brown, Trayvon Martin, and others. With me were ruling elder Anna Santos and office administrator Sherrill Figuera. We were part of a group of several hundred who peacefully marched downtown and briefly blockaded the 880 freeway as an act of civil disobedience. These protests are important expressions of the grief and outrage we have both for the specific instances of injustice which need to be addressed through judicial and legislative means, and also for broader societal concerns that need awareness and improvement – most especially, the racism that continues to infect our society in ever more insidious ways. It is important that we participate, that we speak out, that we give voice to the voiceless, and that we do so with our faith at the forefront.

Our faith may show up in many different ways. Whether it is in praying for police and protestors, tweeting relevant Bible verses, or singing spirituals while awaiting detainment and arrest – as Berkeley protestors did most beautifully on Monday night – the Christian faith is not one that can be compartmentalized out of our civic engagement. This is why I chose to wear a clerical collar to the protest. It shows the participants (and, sometimes more importantly, the cameras) that the church is present, active, and engaged.

Clerical collars, like clergy robes, are not holy garments nor are they uniforms, and their significance is culturally determined. The white “tab” was a passing fad in the 1800s which clergy held onto after it passed the rest of world by. Geneva tab collars and black robes, such as Ben prefers to wear, descend sartorially from the 17th century styles of professors and judges. The white robe which I prefer has even more ancient roots in the baptismal garments of the Roman church. But for us Presbyterians neither collar nor robe confers any blessing on its wearer, other than what the general public may read into it. I wear a collar when I want to be visible. Once I rode Amtrak across the country wearing one, sitting in the café car where other riders constantly approached me to test out their theological musings or to confess their secrets. Ministry comes to you when you wear one. Ben and I decided to wear robes in Celebration during Advent and Christmas to show how special this season is, and to help the many newcomers who come through our doors around the holidays easily visually identify us as the leaders.

There is, however, one garment that even we Presbyterians hold as sacred, set aside for particular ministries. That is the stole – the stripe of colored cloth you will see Ben wear in colors corresponding to the season. I will not wear one until I am ordained as a teaching elder. Its origins are ancient and obscure, but it is most commonly compared to a Jewish prayer shawl, or a symbolic yoke signifying our labor for Christ, or (my personal favorite) the towel which Jesus used to wash his disciples feet. I look forward to wearing these as a mark of service in the church.

Blessings to you, wherever your ministry may take you this week.
Talitha

This week we had a rehearsal for our upcoming Christmas pageant, “Away in a Garage: an Oakland Pageant.” The kids sang with Kim to learn the songs, and thoroughly peppered me with questions. Why is Jesus being born in a garage? Who is King Herod? Why aren’t there any shepherds? Why are we singing this song? Do I have to have a speaking role? And on and on. The cast is nearly set, with some additions to accommodate the great number of children and youth who want to be involved, but the questions will probably never be fully answered until long after the pageant is finished. It’s meant to be a thought-provoking exercise, and so far it’s doing a stellar job.

We will try in so many ways to explain our understanding of Christmas to the children. But much of our explaining will fall short of the heart of it, and many of our deep and profound words will fly over the children’s uncomprehending heads. So this year I want to offer another additional way for the families among us to bring the Christmas story to life with their children. It’s called the Traveling Baby Jesus, and my mother (a Presbyterian pastor) has been doing it in her church for several years. It’s most popular with children age 4-8, but older or younger families are welcome to participate as well. The way it works is that we have a small baby Jesus doll, who — just like the real Baby Jesus — doesn’t have a home to stay in. For the two weeks leading up to Christmas, we’re going to try to make sure that this traveling doll can spend each night in someone’s home. He comes in a shoebox with a Christmas book and a few words of instructions. If you sign up for him to stay at your house one night, someone will deliver him to you that day, and then the next day you can deliver him to the family signed up for the next night. We’d like to make sure he’s with a warm and loving family, reading stories and being held, and that he doesn’t have to spend too much time in the cold and dark environment of the church office storage closet. On Christmas Eve the final participating family will deliver him to church so he can be part of the nativity scene in the 5:30 PM Christmas celebration. The children of my mother’s church have come to love their little tradition, looking forward to it all year long, and I feel it will be a lot of fun for our kids too. This photo is from the children of their church last year.

You can sign your family up to host the Traveling Baby Jesus here or with Talitha on Sunday.
While we are doing signups, the Advent wreath still needs a few child & youth volunteers, so sign your kids up here.

Blessings in this lovely rainy Advent season,
Talitha

In my sermon this week I talked about stained glass blinders, which seems to have struck a chord with many of you. It seems most of us have these blinders near at hand, even if we manage to take them off sometimes. It’s almost impossible not to have them. Stained glass blinders are those things which surround your vision at church, casting a rosy glow on our Bible stories, prayers, and hymns. They prevent us from seeing the harshness, contradiction, and scandal in the stories and history of our faith. For example, the book of Jonah (the one who gets swallowed by a whale) was written as a sarcastic tirade against prophets and prophecy. Our stained-glass blinders cover that up and make it into a children’s story. And of course there is the image of the lovable, huggable Jesus that children too easily confuse with Santa Claus. Godly Play stories do their best not to put this kind of smiling face on Jesus, but these images are all around us, and dominate our cultural visions of Jesus. We can’t imagine this nice person being sarcastic, or driving merchants out of the Temple with a whip. See examples, found on Matthew Paul Turner’s great blog feature, “Jesus needs new PR”:

These stained-glass images of our faith trivialize it and make it seem extremely irrelevant to people living hard lives. This trivialization of our faith is a problem that deserves attention from every possible angle. For my part, I’m writing a Christmas pageant for this year that will attempt to remove the stained glass from the Christmas story… because too many people think it is “cute” that Jesus was born in a stable. When you paint a face like that on a lamb, (see above) then yes, it’s hard to argue that being born in a stable is cute, but we have forgotten that it was probably also messy, smelly, and cold; the opposite of a comfortable place to give birth or to be born. This year’s pageant is titled “Away in a Garage” and will do its best to give a modern equivalent. Save the date and bring your friends: December 14th, in Celebration!

And if you catch yourself coming to church with stained glass blinders on, one good corrective that can shake them off is to imagine yourself in a less privileged position. If you were homeless, how would such a story sound to you? If you were seriously disabled, or ill? But the best corrective of all is to reach out and engage in conversation with someone who genuinely comes from a place like that, because you learn to see the world differently when you live it day in and day out. And as we know well, Christ comes to us in the “least of these,” those whom the world ignores, and we may be blessed with an opportunity to really encounter Christ, living in our world today.

Every Blessing,
Talitha

Often I like to surprise people in church, by introducing a new prayer or song on the spot. I usually don’t give advance notice of what might be different from “normal” – although normal, at MPC, certainly covers a wide range! If you ask any Youth Group member, they know the answer to “what are we doing next week?” is nearly always “a surprise.” Even one hour in advance, the answer is the same. My philosophy is that too many details get in the way of the choice of whether to attend. I wouldn’t want anyone to pick and choose, only attending on days when we are due to play the favorite game Romans & Christians, or skipping the days when we have a service project to work on together. We are a community gathering, not a concert or lecture series, and so the choice to attend is more central than whether or not we like the specific program. Likewise for the adults, I wouldn’t want anyone to pick and choose church services ahead of time based on what genre of music will be played, what method we use for “prayers of the people,” or even who is preaching (spoiler alert: this week, it’s me).

This week we will try a new style of prayer, however, and I want to give a heads-up even if it may spoil the surprise. Instead of the regular “Time With Children,” we will have a designated time for “Prayers With Children.” The Child & Youth Education committee thought of this because the Prayers of the People are always held during a time when the children are not present, and we would like to give them a chance. During the Prayers With Children, the microphone will be limited to children and those adults they may choose to bring with them. If the children are all feeling shy we can spend some time in silent prayer, which is OK too. The focus is on making space for the children to speak their prayers, and for the adults to hear them and pray with them. Thank-you prayers may be the easiest – God, thank you for the fun day last week when we didn’t have school – or help-please prayers – God, please help my cat who is sick.

If these seem to be small prayers, try to remember what it was like to be small yourself. Can you remember what it was like when a day off from school was a joyful eternity, or when a disciplinary “time-out” felt like doing jail time? Recently when I asked someone if they were interested in volunteering with the youth, this person replied “but I have no experience with kids!” While spending time with young people can indeed be a good way to increase your confidence and feel at ease, the truth is that the best volunteers are simply those who are in touch with their own memories. All of us over the age of 18 have the single strongest qualification: we were there, and we survived. Can you remember what it was like for you to be a child? A teenager? Do you remember your first prayers? Do you remember your angstiest prayers in the difficult years of adolescence? Take a moment if you will, and recall what those might have been. I am looking forward to this new way of praying together. I hope and pray it will be helpful for all of us, young and old alike.

Every Blessing,
Talitha

I feel lucky since I had two opportunities to celebrate All Saint’s Day at our ofrenda in the sanctuary. Once was in the morning with the adults of the congregation. It was bright, sunny, and even fun, especially when I spent time with the youngest children who were irresistibly drawn to the candles on the table. I hope that with a few more repetitions the children will come to understand what we say in Godly Play about a candle which is blown out. The light isn’t “gone” — it’s “changed.” You don’t see it as a bright spot any more, but as the little bit of white smoke that spreads out and travels around the room. And where you might not have smelled it before, now you can. The same happens to a person’s spirit when they die. It can’t be found in one place any more, but spreads out and travels. And we cannot see that person in the same way anymore – but we can still sense them somehow, and know in a spiritual sense that they are still with us. We can remember this every time we see the light of a candle “change.”

For anyone who is grieving I would pray for a sense of this continuity, a mystical awareness of “change” rather than “ending” — but I also know, sometimes it just doesn’t feel that way. Sometimes our sense of loss is overpowering, and the crushing weight of absence shouts down the small whisper of presence.

We revisited the ofrenda that evening in Youth Group, as part of a silent prayer practice spanning the sanctuary and a walking labyrinth which we had chalked out in the courtyard. The ofrenda which had been so bright in the morning was muted in the candlelight, and the hopeful sounds of Angel Band and Will the Circle Be Unbroken which we had sung in the morning were replaced by a thick and solemn silence. Some of the youth group members have been through enormous loss in the past few years. Even those who have never tasted the bitterness of grief know that it is all too close and real for their friends in the group. So our time at the ofrenda that evening felt different than it had in the morning.

Grief goes through different seasons and times like this; sometimes bright and sharp, sometimes dark and dull, sometimes filled with gratitude, sometimes overpoweringly sad. Many of these different varieties of grief are not easily accommodated for in our public or private lives. It seems like our culture often expects us to be in distress for a week or two following a death, followed by a couple of months of general sadness, and then it’s back to normal. But our spirits are profoundly touched and affected by grief and loss. My prayer for us is that we may have a wider acceptance and compassion for the different ways we grieve.

If you are grieving in any way – whether due to a loved one’s death or other circumstances in your life – and would like to share a time of meditation and prayer with others during your grief, you are welcome to join a Grief and Spirituality group. It will be meeting on Nov. 10th (Monday) at 3 PM in the office.

Every Blessing,
Talitha

Friday through Sunday was a whirlwind of activity with the youth on our annual Fall Retreat at Cazadero. Four amazing advisors joined me to lead it, and each of us had borrowed or rented a minivan to drive up, chock-full of teenagers, music, and excitement.

The retreat was scary. From the drive up in the dark, with the teen girls in my van anxiously scanning the sides of the road for skunks, possums, wild boars, and Bigfoot… to the creepy and mysterious Story of Cazadero and the moment during our storytelling when a wind suddenly blew the front door wide open. Being in the woods in the wind, the rain, and the dark is scary enough itself. But we also did deliberate activities to focus in on our courage and strength together. For example, we had a ropes course in the morning which took us on tight-wires and through huge rope spider webs. Even a girl with a broken foot powered through bravely. And then on Saturday night, we did a simulation game which I had modified from the UN High Commission for Refugees’ game Passages. In it, we posited a 2050 future where the US was unstable and violent, but Mexico was safe and stable. The youth were broken up into families and tasked with trying to escape and make a new life in Mexico. Through limited resources, dangers all around, and a fair share of rapid-fire Spanish yelled at them in the dark by our “border guards” in the process of arresting and detaining them, they experienced a lot of fear – and, on the flip side, we also saw a lot of courage. In debriefing the game we found that not only was it a powerful tool to incite compassion for refugees, but it changed their perspectives on their own lives as well. A cracked i-Phone screen suddenly doesn’t seem like a big deal, and the ability to use one’s own language is something to be grateful for on a daily basis.

There is so much more I could talk about – from the delicious homemade food to the long hours of singing together – but this newsletter needs to go to press, and so I’ll leave you to check out our photos on Flickr. May we all be as brave as these great youth.

Every Blessing,
Talitha

A pictoral essay on all the various directions I’m going

Thursday, Oct 16th: I attended a great conference at San Francisco Theological Seminary, focusing on games and innovation in ministry. In an “innovation lab” my group developed and pitched an idea for “The Listening Campaign,” with the tagline: Because your story needs to be heard. This has inspired me to spend more time doing one-on-one visits with youth in our group and in the neighborhood. I will probably set up some coffeehouse “office hours” to make space and time for it. Exciting!

Friday, Oct 17th: Several members of Youth Group, directed by HAWG (Hunger Action Working Group) members, served dinner at College Avenue Presbyterian Church to a large crowd who were greatly appreciative. Big thanks to Bonnie Hamlin, Susanne Lea, Janet Mulshine, and Debbie Fallehy.

Sunday, Oct 19th: with 29 youth in attendance we had a great youth group meeting. At the innovation conference I had been introduced to several new games, and this was one: build a castle out of cups, without ever touching them with your hands. Rubber bands and string to the rescue. Each group had a different approach… who played this game best?

Upcoming: Retreat at Camp Cazadero. 26 youth and 5 adults will be present, 12 of whom will be on their first EVER retreat at Caz. We will play a lot of games designed to transform us into super-empowered, hopeful, & empathetic people. Pray for us!

This past Sunday morning I took the Time With Children as an opportunity to work on the behaviors appropriate to church. Each week in Godly Play we remind them that “church is a special place to be with God… to speak with God… to listen to God… and to hear the stories of God.” We remind them that they can speak softly and walk quietly, so they do not disturb someone who might be trying to listen to God. The children are great at doing this upstairs in the Godly Play rooms, but we needed to repeat the lesson downstairs in Celebration.

So I talked about the importance of not disturbing others while they talk with God, and I showed them how we can walk quietly in church. A child shared a vivid and beautiful example: walk as if you were in the woods trying to follow a wild deer. You have to put your foot down softly so you don’t scare the deer away. All the children got up with me and we walked out together as if we were following the deer – quietly! Many of you (adults) who were sitting in the congregation showed your appreciation by laughing and clapping as the children went quietly out. I know this was in good nature, but as we went upstairs together, a small voice asked me sadly, “why did they laugh at us?” and my heart broke a little.

There are churches where laughter and applause are frowned upon, and I’m glad we are not one of those churches. We enjoy ourselves together at MPC. But I need to ask for your help with the children. If we want the children to behave solemnly and respectfully in church, we must begin by treating the children with respect and solemnity. If we ask them to learn self-control, we need to model it for them in our own attitudes. If a child makes a joke with conscious intention, by all means please do laugh. But if they are striving to be serious, and we are all tripping over their cuteness, please catch yourself and try instead to help them. God’s spirit can be as elusive as a deer within us, shy and quiet, rarely seen. Let’s all try together to create an atmosphere of reverence and awe in church, so the children can learn how to listen to God.

Every Blessing,
Talitha