Montclair Presbyterian Church

This week in Youth Group we had a bunch of space aliens asking questions of us and trying to figure out what a “Christian” was. The youth playing the part of aliens worked hard on their questions, from “are you born a Christian?” to “if someone is really nice and does good things, does that automatically make them a Christian?”

The youth playing the part of humans divided up into two groups where they came up with different explanations for what a Christian might be. When the aliens asked about God – “how do you know if God is real?” – one group said that the question was beside the point. To them, believing in God was much less essential than following the way of Jesus and doing what he taught us to do. The other group felt believing in God was important, but they said there was no way to know if God is real – you have to feel it in your heart and believe it.

As we approach the mystery of Easter I think we would all do well to listen to the wisdom of these youth. Like believing in God, believing in the resurrection can be baffling sometimes. The resurrection stories cause many people to stumble over their raw unbelievability… a three-day-dead body coming back to life?? But as the youth grappled with questions about believing in God, they shared some solid perspectives that we can take and keep with us. Our hearts can lead in this matter, and we can let our brains follow the heart’s lead. There are more important questions than “how?” and “what proof?”… We can ask “what difference does it make?” and “how does it affect your life?” instead. If people can see us practicing resurrection in our own lives, bringing back to life what has died, and standing against the injustice that kills innocent people, the question will be answered even before it is asked. As we walk into the darkness and mystery of Holy Week, let’s carry that strength with us, and be the ones to practice resurrection.

Every Blessing,
Talitha

Are you proud to be a Presbyterian? Some of you on one hand probably don’t know or care what Presbyterian means, and on the other hand some of you probably are such loyal life-long Presbyterians that you’ve never had to ask that question. Well, I’m proud to be Presbyterian, especially in a time such as this, when our national policy has just moved forward to specifically and clearly include marriages between two people. This has been a long time coming, and we are glad. We Presbyterians have a very slow-moving process, with General Assembly, our largest committee, meeting only every two years, and with amendments to our constitution (such as the one that just passed) requiring all local presbyteries to consider and vote on the amendments.

When Ben and I met with the Faith Exploration Program for our high schoolers we explained to them that they can become members at the end (after either being baptized or confirming their faith from infant baptism). Ben explained that members get to vote in congregational meetings and we got some blank stares. “THAT’S NOT ALL!” I jumped in. If you are a member you can be ordained as a ruling elder (Session member) and go to Presbytery! That’s another, bigger meeting, where you can vote too! And General Assembly! Well, I know a lot of you, whether youth or adults, are less excited than I am about big meetings and important votes, but I think this is terrifically exciting. I look at it like this: becoming a member or a ruling elder are ways to unlock new levels of participation in the Presbyterian game.

One of my favorite ways to play the Presbyterian game is at the General Assembly, the nation-wide gathering every 2 years. I went in 2008 as a student observer in San Jose, and again in 2010 as a student assistant in Minneapolis. I was quickly infected with an enormous enthusiasm for the workings of committees, the process of attempting consensus, the speak-outs, the passionate testimonies for social justice causes, and the huge worship services… not to mention the many friends I made there and the fun we had! As an observer I quickly started a new blog and named it “Madame Future Moderator.” As an assistant I geeked out on tech support and was thrilled when I got to sit up on the main stage, timing speeches. I will even confess that in 2012, when I was unable to attend in person, I live-streamed the whole assembly online, tweeting along and praying hard when a few important justice issues failed to pass or just squeaked by.

Next year (2016) MPC may have the opportunity to send some Ruling Elder delegates to the General Assembly. I hope that some of you will be interested, and perhaps even nominate yourselves for this role. Anyone who has been ordained and served on Session has leveled-up to qualify. I also hope that we might send some Youth Adult Advisory Delegates between the ages of 17-23. Your voice and vote will be heard and counted on major issues facing our world today, from our mission work to environmental and peace-making issues. I anticipate that divestment from fossil fuels will be one of the biggest items on the docket for 2016. If you are interested, talk to me or Ben!

Every Blessing,
Talitha

Do you feel “part of the family” at MPC? Whether you are a member or a friend, old-timer or new, we strive to have a community that feels like a family, where we support one another and feel comfortable together. Whether you like to be in the center of the action or prefer a quieter spot on the sidelines, we hope you can feel and know that this is your family and spiritual home – that you belong here.

This past weekend the 5th and 6th graders slept over in the church, for our “Pajamajam” overnight adventure. Cindy Gullikson was my co-leader for the event and we had a great time. As we two sat by the pulpit late that night, and watched a lively game of “ghost in the graveyard” take place in and amongst and under the pews, we remarked to one another that this was the ultimate sign of belonging. When you have spent the night someplace, it is “home” for you. When you know all the hiding spots in closets and under pews, when you have watched the light of dawn sneak slowly through stained glass, and when the candles on our Communion table were hand-made by your own small hands, there can be no doubt that this is your place, and that you belong.

One adult shared with me that the day she felt she belonged here was the day she went to the kitchen and found out where the wine glasses were stored. When you don’t have to ask permission to use something, you know you are one of the family. For others of you it may be different. Maybe it was when you joined the choir, or served as lay leader. Perhaps when the Sunday morning greeters knew you by name, even before you put a name tag on.

I used to worship at St Andrew Presbyterian Church in Marin City. I joined the choir right away and got to wear one of their black and purple choir robes, and had a seat reserved for me in the front pew. But I didn’t feel “part of the family” until someone asked me to be on a committee. I’m incurably Presbyterian; committee leadership is my love language.

In about six weeks we will have the annual Committee Fair after church, on April 26th. We are having it early so that committees can use it as a way to include new people before the summer lull hits. If you are looking for more ways to “plug in,” this is a great way to find out where you can share your cooking skills, or where you can learn to garden together, or join with people to take political action on mass incarceration, or play with toddlers, or help the church develop a better composting practice. If you are already well-plugged in, now is a good time to take stock and prepare for new people. How can you and your committee make room for new people at the table? Can you plan something newcomer-friendly for May or June? How can you help people explore and find service that works for them, so they can best make use of the skills and passions God has gifted them with? As Presbyterians we do not believe that worship only happens on Sunday mornings, but that it is a part of all we do in service, action, and recreation. I’d love to talk further with any of you as you seek your place in our common work and worship.

Every Blessing,
Talitha

This week in Youth Group we spent some time talking about the group as a whole, and how things are going. In youth group as in Godly Play and in Sunday morning Celebration, numbers are up, and new people continue to come. 23-26 people is the new normal at Youth Group, and once we had 32. We must be in a season of growth here at MPC!

While the average churchgoer might not be acutely aware of there being more people in Celebration on Sunday, the youth notice the increase rather quickly, since the youth room is small to begin with. So we have strategized and will continue to brainstorm ways to keep the group feeling intimate and close, while incorporating and welcoming all the new members wholeheartedly.

Here are a few top ideas:

• Attending one another’s events. Whether it’s a lacrosse match, a piano recital, a Shakespeare play, or a circus performance, we are going to try to share information with one another so we can get to know one another in these ways and be supportive. Parents can help by sharing info and organizing carpools.
• Getting together after school when we can. My personal mission is to have coffee with as many youth as possible by this June (eight down, thirty-something more to go) whether one-on-one or in small groups.
• Making semi-permanent small groups within youth group. What this means is that when we break up into small groups for conversation, each youth can expect to know they will be with the same people as last time. That will give them consistency as they get to know one another. We will switch the groups up a few times a year, with an aim to both strengthen existing friendships AND to break cliques by getting to know new people.
• Adding a mid-week youth meeting next September, on Wednesday afternoons or evenings. This would be simpler and smaller than our big Sunday night meeting, and I imagine we would do something like a Bible study series.

I am excited and looking forward to all of these as we start to roll them out! I also have reflected a bit on where my time could be better-spent and came to two more ideas:

• Using Remind.com’s free text-messaging services. Youth and/or parents can sign up HERE to get text message reminders. This will save me just ten or fifteen minutes a week, which is small change in terms of time, but it will enable me to send information more frequently, and it’s also something that I can share with other adult leaders, for example when I’m on vacation and someone else is leading.
• Getting some wonderful and SO appreciated assistance from Debbie Fallehy who will serve as Retreat Registrar, getting all the paperwork and special dietary needs in line for our April retreat. What a huge help!

Now is a great season to share all your great ideas, so roll them on over my way. Thanks to all of you at MPC who support, fund, participate in, and pray for this valuable youth ministry.

Every Blessing,
Talitha

Ben challenged me to write why football is better than baseball, but I can’t for the life of me string together any semi-intelligent statements to that effect. But I DO know what is better than baseball, and the youth group agrees with me. Quidditch. Ah, yes, that sport that Harry Potter and the Hogwarts students played while flying on broomsticks, in a massive arena with multiple types of balls, a complex scoring system, and fans going wild. This sport has made its way out of the book and movie realm to be played in parks and on college campuses everywhere. Why is Quidditch such a great game?

1. It has vastly different roles for people of different talents. Chasers, Keepers, Beaters, and Seekers all need complementary but unique intellectual and physical skill sets to excell at their position… not to mention that in Muggle Quidditch (our non-magical variety) the Snitch, rather than flying, is moved around the arena by the smallest and fastest kid available.
2. It builds community across social groups, bringing together the athletic and competitive “jocks” and fantasy-loving, book-devouring “nerds.”
3. It’s deliberately and formally inclusive. According to the International Quidditch Association, under Title 9 ¾, each team must have at least two players in play at all times who identify with a different gender than at least two other players. In a world where top athletes are subjected to the embarrassment of physical and hormone testing to make sure their physical sex is in accordance with their prescribed gender category, this is a welcome move to build a positive co-ed community and to build transgender and agender inclusion and awareness.
4. Quidditch is outside of the mainstream enough to not have been commercialized and monetized, remaining an amateur sport in the best sense of the word – those who love it, from the latin amar, “to love.”

The Youth Group will be playing Quidditch this Spring as a part of our theme for the spring: “Defense Against the Dark Arts: Fighting Racism and Sexism.” We will indeed be watching Harry Potter movies, playing Quidditch, and probably wearing related Halloween costumes out of season, but at the same time we will be using this as an empowering platform to discuss practical ways we, in our everyday lives, can fight racism and sexism using common sense, skills we build together, and the strength of the Christian faith. Although the Harry Potter books are far from perfect, and not all the movies passed the Bechdel test, fighting prejudice and racism is a strong theme through them, and studies have shown that they are effective tools in teaching children lessons about prejudice.

Stay tuned – we will need cheering fans when we have our final Quidditch tournament of the year.

Every Blessing,
Talitha

Lego Quidditch photo by Tim Moreillon

I have to begin with thanks, looking back at the past week. I feel abundant gratitude for the many gifts of time, treasure, and talent that culminated in an expanded new Family Space, now double-sized in the two back pews of the sanctuary. What a beautiful place! Come see it this week, admire the intricate hand-made rugs from India, try out a pillow or two, or maybe go to the bookshelf to pick out some books to read with a toddler. Thanks go to Marilee Niemi, Tamara Lett, Vern Alexander, Paul Gertmenian, Karen Ray Gibson, Jeanne Dunn, Jim Allardice and the Celebration Committee, and Marilee Bailey who all contributed to this project and to Liam Gray for a lovely set of photos of the completed space.

Looking forward to this evening’s Ash Wednesday service and the coming days, we are entering the season of Lent, when it is traditional to fast. We may refrain from chocolate or meat, try to limit our use of technology, skip meals, or none of the above. Of course many people use Lent as an opportunity to go on a dramatic diet and to test their willpower. I have done those types of fasts and, personally, found them a little crazy-making. Self-denial for its own sake usually leaves me a little neurotic and very hungry. So while simple fasts can be helpful for some people, I would also like to introduce two other philosophies of fasting.

One is the fast of lament or protest – an appeal for God’s mercy – or a divinely-directed hunger strike. For an example, see the book of Jonah, where after the prophet has proclaimed God’s judgment on the evil city of Ninevah, the people of the city all repent of their evil ways, put sackcloth and ashes on, and fast. Their fasting is so serious that they even prevent their sheep and cattle from grazing, while they all (humans and animals together, apparently) cry out to God for mercy. The book was written as a parody, making fun – if you can believe it – of how quickly God changes God’s mind when people respond to a prophet’s call. Whether we are calling out for God’s mercy for a person, family situation, or global issue, the fast of protest is a powerful prayer.

The other is the fast of solidarity or awareness. Most of us have plenty of food in our refrigerators right now, and the vast majority of us have the money and freedom to keep our pantries well-stocked. We might sometimes skip a meal by choice, for the health benefits, thinking little about the people around the world who have no choice but to go to bed hungry. So we can fast as a way of temporarily setting aside this enormous privilege. Of course we will pick our privilege up again the next day, but for a few hours we can keep in mind what it feels like to go without. I hope that if just once during the season of Lent, you might try one of these forms and share how it went.

Every Blessing,
Talitha

Some of you know that I sing sea chanties for fun – those old work songs, made for large groups to stay together when hauling on lines – way, hey and up she rises. In fact, I am a regular at the Hyde Street Pier in San Francisco, where a monthly “sing” draws a large crowd of enthusiasts for an open sing-along session.
I have attended for about 5 years and have seen the crowds grow – from about 100 people when I first showed up, to 335 this past weekend. Good leadership, a couple of well-placed newspaper articles, and word of mouth have all helped this event grow. But recently we have burst a couple of seams as the sing continues growing. First, we were no longer able to fit the crowds on the 1886 square-rigged sailing ship Balclutha… and had to move instead to the 1890 steam ferryboat Eureka, where it is quite unlikely that chanties were ever sung by the 8-hour shift workers bringing passengers and vehicles across the bay. And recently, because of the growing crowds and new park regulations, we have discontinued the tradition of serving hot cider halfway through the evening.

I will be the first to admit I’m grumpy about the changes. After all, I met my partner on the Balclutha, and it’s full of nostalgia for us. And singing chanties on the ferry in the company of historic cars and steam engines just doesn’t have the same effect as singing them under the shadow of the three enormous masts and their complicated rigging. But still, I’m not yet an old-timer at this sing that is as old as I am. The REAL old-timers wax poetic about the days when the sing was held in the sailors’ quarters of a small wooden schooner, the Thayer, rocking lightly in the waves of the bay, capacity 40 people.

Nostalgia is powerful, but it ought not to get in the way of welcoming people. For the sea chantey sing, moving to the ferryboat has allowed more people to attend, to learn about the old songs, and to enjoy a communal experience as we sing together. At MPC I think about our season of growth as well. The youth feel nostalgic for the days when we didn’t have to break into small groups for discussion, and many people have felt anxious when trying to schedule a meeting on a Sunday morning, when all the meeting rooms are already in use. But the fact is, as we grow, more people are having their spiritual needs met, and more people are able to enjoy the blessings of community here.

To those of you who find yourself inadvertently grumbling about MPC’s growth, I offer my sympathy, because despite my best intentions I did grumble about the ferry and the cider. But somehow (by the grace of God? or just calm personalities?) there are some of you who manage an unflappable smile in the face of full pews, busy meeting spaces, and full sign-up lists… and who reach out to welcome the new people. There were a lot of youth group members in church this Sunday, some for their first time, and your welcome, appreciation and patience (even when the demand for pancakes far exceeded supply!) go far to help them feel that yes, this is their church too, and there is room for them.

May that graciousness, with which God has blessed us, be shared yet again to welcome all who are new here.

Every Blessing,
Talitha

Talking about theology over a beverage or two (and perhaps some noshes) is one of my favorite things to do. I am looking forward to Wine & Theology, the Family Life Small Group that will begin on Friday evenings in March, and I’ve reviewed the sign-up sheet with some excitement. I know that the participants are a theologically diverse crowd. On the spectrum from orthodox to heretical, you hold a blessedly wide variety of opinions, and we hope that all these great different opinions will come out to play in a safe and loving environment when we meet. But in other ways we are less diverse, as is typical of the MPC community. The participants who have registered are overwhelmingly Caucasian, heterosexual, and in the 55-70ish age range. Although that is typical of MPC, and although I’ve heard some of us lovingly called “a bunch of OWLs” – Old White Ladies – I’m dreaming of better.

When we do theology together, our similarities become problems. Racial, sexual, and generational privilege will place more than a few blind spots in our way. Too often we see a “default” context for thinking about God represented by those who are white, straight, cis-gendered, able-bodied and -minded, well employed, well educated, well housed (and on and on)… and we see other people’s experiences as variations on the default theme. But in fact there is no “default” setting for humanity: white is a color, after all, and being able-bodied is a privilege not to be taken for granted. And meanwhile we worship a Christ who was famous for transgressing boundaries, who chose to identify as “servant/slave” in a time where slaveholding was common practice, and who created a stir for spending time with people on the margins of society.

So even though registration is closed, I’m sending out one last call. Wine and Theology is looking for more of the voices traditionally less amplified in society. We have enough women, men, white people, and people older than 55. We need younger voices, people of color and/or immigrants from other countries, and people who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, or queer. We will not expect you to “speak for” your demographic or do extra work to explain your context. But we would be grateful for the way your presence might enrich our conversation and our fellowship. I will also be working to be sure that the authors we read or videos we watch come from a diverse background as well.

Our church, the PC(USA), has had a long-standing commitment to diversity, and though at times it seems an empty token, at best it should be a strong counter-measure against the way our society amplifies some voices and muffles others. Let’s hope that MPC can stand for diversity and inclusion, and become a brighter and more welcoming place in the process.

Every Blessing,
Talitha

Last week I was the storyteller in Godly Play, telling the children in the Green Classroom about the life of Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., whom we count as a saint and a prophet – a person who was so close to God that he knew what God wanted him to say and do. It was a powerful and worshipful experience going through the story with these children. At the end of the story I invited them to reflect by bringing any other stories from the classroom that could connect to the story of Dr. King’s life. The children brought images of Jesus’ life and death to stand by the images of Dr. King’s, and I couldn’t resist the urge to bring the apostle Paul over too, and to share verses he wrote from prison. One of the children carefully set up the story of World Communion, picturing people of all races and ethnicities gathered around the Table.

When I told the story of Dr. King it brought to mind a few places hallowed by his life and work, places of pilgrimage that have become sacred in memory. I have walked the streets of Atlanta and seen his childhood home preserved reverently there. I even briefly stood with appropriately trembling knees near the pulpit at Ebeneezer Baptist Church, as I was stage-managing the Children of Uganda tour, and when the executive director was waylaid by an injury on the day of their performance there, I had to step up and make the opening speech in her stead. I have been to Washington DC and marched on some of the streets where Dr. King led marches, and this past summer with the Youth Group we saw the place of his death in Memphis, Tennessee. Much of the rest of his life, however, was geographically unfamiliar territory to me — except what I saw on the big screen when I went to see Selma.

Selma was a beautifully made movie with much to recommend it. It was not a biography of Dr. King’s life nor a wide overview of all that happened, but a close-up focus on a moment and a place. The Edmund Pettus bridge loomed large in the camera’s eye as the marchers approached and crossed the bridge each time, in hope, in dread, and finally in triumph. Looking at Dr. King’s life with too wide a view can lead to blurred and broad strokes, and children these days may learn in school that he was a nice man who helped people overcome their differences. A friend of mine, the Rev. Aric Clark, asked his son what he had learned about Dr. King at school, and hearing that he “brought peace” Aric responded “No!” On the contrary, “he upset many people because he showed them that there can’t be any peace without justice, and since we still don’t have justice, we also don’t have peace.”

Selma helps us lose sight of the big picture, to focus back in the particular life of a man who was arrested 30 times, who was threatened with death many times before his assassination, who opposed the war in Vietnam, who called us white people out on our racism, who advocated for the government to guarantee employment and income to all, and who shouted at the president. We might prefer not to remember that, and to remember instead his Nobel Peace Prize and a couple of his most repeated speeches. But we need to remember the prophet and the activist. In a nation still sorely lacking justice, where such a movie gets a mere nod at awards ceremonies and is passed over at the box office in favor of mindless action fare, let us pray that, like the Rev. Dr. King, we might know what God wants us to say and to do.

Every Blessing,
Talitha

We are working at MPC to make more space for our children to learn and grow. From the actual space we’ve made in the back row, to giving children the microphone to share their prayers, we are doing everything we can to make child-sized openings in our grownup-sized church. We know that not all openings appeal to all children, of course. Some love singing and performing for everyone, while others run screaming from the spotlight… which is why we keep trying different ways to include them, hoping eventually to have a large range of ways in which our children can participate. One new idea came forward this Advent when the children did such good jobs with the candle-lighting and the liturgy of the wreath. Those who participated felt proud and important, and those who watched were delighted to see, as the prophet foretold, “a little child shall lead them.”

We do the candle-lighting every Advent, but there is no need to wait eleven months to provide children with the chance to light a candle and read a prayer. Most children are not ready to be “lay leader” and be up front for the entire Celebration service, but they can do a little bit. So we are going to begin offering a similar opportunity throughout the year. We will invite children to light a candle and lead the Call to Celebration each Sunday, the first prayerful words of our worship. Then the lay leader for that Sunday will continue with the Scripture reading and the rest of the service.

Would you like to participate? Cheryl Geckeler, who manages the sign-ups for lay leaders, will also take care of this. So if you are a child (or the parent of a child) who would like to read and light, contact Cheryl at gecke1ers@gmail.com. An enthusiastic reader could take a few weeks in a row, or sign up multiple times.

Thank you all, MPC, for your openness to these little changes, here and there, as we seek to build a strong community of faith with and for our children!
Every Blessing,
Talitha