Montclair Presbyterian Church

Last night I underwent my trials for ordination at the San Francisco Presbytery, an unnecessarily scary-sounding phrase for what was really a rather collegial process. I was invited up to the podium to speak about my statement of faith (available here) and then the floor was open for questioning. The first question – according to our local tradition – was a nice, slow softball pitched exactly where I wanted it, so I could start off confidently.

“Why did you write your statement of faith in verse, rather than prose?”

To this easy pitch I was able to speak graciously about metaphor and reality and genre expectations. But the next couple of pitches were fastballs. And I want to write more about one of them now.

“Why did Jesus have to die?”

I said some semi-intelligent things last night about power dynamics and politics and the cost of opposing Empire, but today I’ve kept on muddling through my thoughts about that question, and I have realized that I strongly dislike the way it is worded. Of course, as a Godly Play teacher, telling the Christian story in many different ways, I’ve been asked by children in varying degrees of horror or bafflement, “why did they kill Jesus?” and the oft-repeated, “but why?” But none of those children have ever asked me in those words, “why did Jesus have to die?” and for that I am glad.

Some people believe that Jesus had to die a martyr’s death on the cross, because otherwise, we could never be forgiven for our sins. He had to be the perfect sacrifice to make reconciliation between a righteously wrathful God and our impossibly sinful selves. I recognize that this is a heavily traditional view and that some of us are very attached to it. But it is also highly problematic, in that it brings with it a host of guilt complexes, and in the way that it makes God seem like a bloodthirsty tyrant. So while I believe he died for our sake, I don’t believe it was in a blood-for-blood atonement.

So, why did Jesus have to die?

Because dying is human, and he was fully human.

Because he opposed Empire, and the Empire had the power to put him to death for that.

Because he was committed to peace, and refused to fight back with violence, even at the end.

Looking back with the eyes of faith we can see that he died to show us the way to true life, and to teach us not to be afraid of those who have power over our bodies but not our souls. If he hadn’t died, we never would have known the power of his resurrection. And I believe he died to demonstrate that God “becoming flesh” did not just extend to the joys and triumphs of our bodily lives, but that even through the suffering and pain, God is with us.

Have I satisfied that question, or evaded it, or simply re-worded it? If you would answer it differently, I’d love to hear from you. Thank you all for your support in this ordination process!

Blessings,
Talitha

At Session last night, among other decisions you’ll read about below, the Session members voted to move forward with the adoption of a full set of new hymnals. The giver has chosen to remain anonymous, but let’s give up a big prayer of gratitude for such a wonderful, generous gift!

I’m not sure how long it will take for us to get the order in and for them to ship them, so once again we will practice some patience as the process unfolds. But as we wait, let’s have some fun together. I’d like to challenge you all to a game of hymnal-exploration. Both now as we continue to use the blue hymnals, and later this summer when the purple hymnals arrive, let’s sing some of our favorite songs together. I will be making up a Song Request form, and you can consider this your way of playing the ecclesiastical jukebox… with a twist. The twist, of course, is that we want to know more than just the name and number of your request. We want to know why you love this song, or where you first heard it, or what your favorite lyrics are. Share something about yourself, perhaps something about your faith, or something about your life story. It doesn’t have to be a hymnal song, but one that is appropriate for Celebration. When you’ve made your choice and written a bit about it, put the form in the offering plate and it will go into the jukebox. Ben and I will choose them at random, but will have a bit of discretion in that we will try to coordinate the song choice with the theme in each Celebration service. I know some of you will try to play “stump the band,” and we will certainly take that challenge as well, but it might take us longer to work the challenges in.

The idea for this actually came out of a meeting with youth group members. We usually have 2 to 4 youth group members present in church on Sunday mornings, but they are different youth from week to week… so one came up with the idea of focusing our attention on one Sunday per month (the first Sunday – communion Sunday). Maybe the youth could have leadership roles, we said… ushering? Serving communion? Giving the Birthday announcement? And later we had another idea – what about helping to pick the hymns? THAT was a coveted role, snagged immediately by Claire Kelly who will give us the first song suggestions to go in the jukebox.

I realized it was such a good idea that the adults and children would want “in” on it too. So while we will have Youth Choice Hymns on the first Sunday of every month, adults and children of any age can put your requests in whenever you want to, and we will incorporate those in Celebration on other weeks. Look for the hot pink forms in the back of the Sanctuary any time. And let’s celebrate our favorite music together!

Every Blessing,
Talitha

Have you taken a look at the new purple hymnals? You may have seen Celebration Committee members lending them out to others in Family Hour, or you may have taken the time to attend one of our sing-along sessions after Celebration. We have been in ongoing discussion, both in Session and Celebration Committee, and in the wider congregation, for more than a year now; we have copied some of its songs to sample in our worship, and we have read various articles which speak about the diverse theology included in the songs in the hymnal (you can find them here: http://presbyterianhymnalproject.com/resources.html). It seems to be a blessedly non-controversial decision, with a wide range of people expressing interest and enthusiasm, and some so enthusiastic that they have (anonymously and spontaneously) pledged the entire cost will be covered! Session will consider the hymnals at their next meeting, so we ask you to bring any additional comments and thoughts to staff or session members this week.

The process of considering the hymnals started early last year. I first got my hands on one at a Presbyterian Church Educators conference in San Jose, where the PCOCS (pronounced “peacocks” – the Presbyterian Committee on Congregational Song) presented the brand-new hymnals and led us in singing from them. My mother’s congregation ordered theirs right away – they decided to buy it even before it had been published – and so they started singing from them early on. I texted my mom a few weeks into the process asking whether her congregation liked them so far, and she texted back “LOVE, LOVE, LOVE IT!!!” Given that my mother has a simple phone and usually texts without even using punctuation, her use of capitalization made a serious impression on me. But as I continued to look at the new hymnal, I came to love it too. It’s more diverse, more exhaustive, and more inclusive, and it has some really fun “oldies” in the mix. I’m happy to talk with anyone about what the new hymnal would mean for us, as I think it will truly enrich and enliven our music in many ways over the next decade or two. But I would like to take a moment first to talk about what it would NOT mean for us, and perhaps alleviate some fears, or dash some false hopes – so please bear with me.

• Getting a new hymnal does not mean we will stop singing anyone’s favorite hymns. We found that almost all of our favorites are included in the new hymnal, but we can also photocopy any that didn’t make the cut.
• Getting a new hymnal does not mean we are making a change in our musical philosophy. We are always striving to find the right mix of songs, and Ben, Kim, Marcia and I work together with the Celebration Committee to build services that are meaningful, beautiful, and fun.
• Getting a new hymnal doesn’t mean we will stop using non-hymnal songs. We hope it will reduce the frequency with which we photocopy outside songs, but our expansive style will not be contained in any one book, no matter how many pages it has. I’d especially like to appreciate Kim and the work she does to bring us sacred music from other faith traditions, and tunes from the holy liturgies of Broadway musicals and folk song.
• Getting a new hymnal will never solve our problems of disagreement about musical styles. Some of us love Bach, and some love Taizé; some of us are feeling groovy with Simon & Garfunkel while others rock out to OneDirection. Every once in a while, each one of us has to grit our teeth to get through someone else’s favorite song; this gracious forbearance is part of who we are as a diverse congregation.
• Finally, getting a new hymnal will not save us… nor will it ruin us. The hymnal question is small potatoes when you compare it to the work we need to do as a church, to feed the hungry, to welcome the stranger, to stand for justice, and to be the community God has called us to be. I hope we can all keep it in perspective as we seek to be God’s people together.

Every Blessing,
Talitha

I promised an ongoing series about the aspects of my job at MPC that will change when I get ordained. And one of these changes has already started – but as we go on, I know the process will continue and accelerate. That is my responsibility for participating in the wider ministry of the church, and particularly in the Presbytery of San Francisco.

I began attending presbytery meetings earlier this year, and to those of you who don’t speak all the lingo yet, “presbytery” is the regional gathering of elders – both Teaching Elders (TE’s, in wide variety but mostly including pastors, chaplains, and other professional ministers), and Ruling Elders (RE’s, our session members and those who are called to ministry on a non-professional basis). Presbytery meets about 5 times a year for fellowship and worship and business. They are both a community of support, and a set of accountability partners who hold us to our responsibilities to God’s call in our area, and to the wider church. You may know that our friend the Rev. Vince Mok is now the vice-moderator of SF Presbytery, so he is in the midst of it all.

I know there will be a lot to do as I become more active in Presbytery. What I have done already is to attend a presbytery training called “Gracious Leadership,” which took place over the last 5 weeks of Wednesday mornings, and finished today. It was a wonderful class and I will in turn become an enthusiastic recruiter, recommending YOU take it, if you have the opportunity, when it returns this fall. It is helpful for anyone working or hoping to work in multi-cultural ministry, and if you want to know more, you can borrow my copy of the book “The Wolf Shall Dwell with the Lamb” by Eric Law.

One of the principles of our training was the concept of the “Cycle of Gospel Living.” Too often the Christian message is reduced to a simple message: “You humans are proud and sinful, and need to humble yourself before God.” This can be helpful in certain cases, but it neglects the other side of the story: the God who, as the Psalmist says, “raises the poor from the ash heap and sets them with princes” (Ps 113:7-8). Those who have power need to become humble, and those who have been humiliated need to be empowered. But once being empowered, they will need to become humble again in new situations, and then empowered, and so on, in a cycle.

Our training brought together traditionally powerful people and those who have been disempowered. I was actually recruited because they needed more white people! The native English speakers were narrowly outnumbered by native Spanish speakers in our group, many of whom come from the church we are partnering with to care for the Ordoñez family, PIPH (Primera Iglesia Presbiteriana Hispana). We had a lot of talented interpreters, and we used non-verbal communication in some ways as well. Using different tools, we studied scripture together, talked about culture, shared life stories, and worked to become more empowered or more humble, and to keep that cycle moving.

As I become more active in the work of our presbytery, I hope to share in more trainings like this, and to partner with the excellent work being done in other congregations. It is my hope that doing so will enrich and instruct what we do at MPC as well.

Every Blessing,
Talitha

Friends, I’ve got an idea to share with you. I can’t really say how this idea started or who planted the first seeds of its growth – it seems to have come from many directions simultaneously – but I keep getting those spiritual nudges that seem to indicate its time has come. The idea is to add another weekly gathering into our rich mix of activities here at MPC: an opportunity for fellowship and food, intergenerational relationship-building, and learning with and from one another.

Here is my vision of it so far. On Wednesday nights we would gather in the Family Room for dinner. We would take turns preparing a simple dinner so that most of the participants could just show up, blessedly empty-handed, ready to be fed. Families with children would share tables with teenagers and adults, like we do at Family Hour, mixing amongst one another for the meal. Then after the meal we would separate by age into groups for an informal Bible study. There would be a play group for the littlest ones in the children’s corner, a children’s bible study group at a table in another corner, one table for teens, and one for adults. Each table’s Bible Study would be led by rotating volunteers and could include simple discussion, Q&A quiz games, art projects or prayer responses, text-inspired poetry, or any number of ways to interact with the text. On the third Wednesday of the month we have Taizé, so on those days we would have dinner beforehand and join in the Taizé service.

There are plenty of details and what-ifs we could stress out about, but right now I am in the excitement phase and I hope you can join me there. To me it seems like a great opportunity to increase our fellowship and friendship, to get to know one another more, and to support our learning and faith exploration. What is more, two children and one youth have told me specifically that they want MORE help in learning how to read the Bible, and heaven help us if we do not try to answer that call!

It seems that a trial period would be a good idea, so I am aiming for 6-8 weeks of Wednesday nights in the fall. We will want “critical mass” of enough people committing to it, so while we will save the actual sign-ups for later, please do reach out to me and let me know if you are interested. Or, come to the open meeting of Children & Youth Education Committee (see below – this week before church), where this will be one of the items we discuss.

Every Blessing,
Talitha

Thank you, thank you, thank you for your ringing endorsement of my ministry here at Montclair, and for calling me to be your Associate Pastor! I count myself lucky to be working for such a generous-hearted and enthusiastic congregation. And I am so grateful to those who through their time and service (and a great deal of patience) have moved this process forward, especially Ben, members of MPC session, Monte McClain, and above all the APNC committee members. Thank you!

Some of you have asked when you can call me Rev., and once I again I get to tell you to hold your horses. We are to move through the process without undue delay, but summer is a-coming in, and even the faithful of our congregations and presbyteries do scatter like sheep when school gets out. I will be examined at the San Francisco Presbytery meeting on June 9th, and then will make arrangements with the Presbytery of New York City for an ordination service, which will take a few more weeks. That puts us in July, which is pretty miserable in NYC, so we’re hoping for an August ordination, followed by an August or September installation service at MPC.

I promised some details on what actually changes when I get ordained. The short answer, as you may know, is “not much,” at least in terms of how I spend my time and energy. But one important change was in my mind this past Sunday as I stood at the communion table with Ben. The words and prayers that surround the communion service are shared by pastors and congregation alike. But the central words, the “words of Institution,” which mark the meal as Communion, are reserved for pastors to say: those who have been ordained or specially commissioned for the task. Likewise with baptisms, I may say the prayer over the water or preach a sermon about baptism, but not do the act itself. So after I am ordained, I will take my turn in standing in that central position behind the table, and lifting the bread and cup. I will baptize people, or more realistically, will fight with Ben over who gets the great joy of baptizing people, and we’ll settle on alternating between the two of us. To take part in these beautiful and sacred acts is an honor and a privilege that we do not take lightly. While I recognize the wisdom of other churches who allow congregation members to officiate at the sacraments, I also appreciate the wisdom of our Presbyterian tradition: the holy task of ministering in Christ’s name may easily be done in T-shirts and blue jeans, but never without careful intention and discernment of God’s call.

One thing I love about MPC is knowing that I can make serious statements about the importance of tradition, responsibility, reverence etc., without worrying that you will take them too far and become complacent in tradition. Our congregation loves to turn the tables over, to smash idols and turn the moneychangers out of the temple… and so I can speak gently of the importance, sometimes, of respecting tradition and doing things in an orderly fashion… knowing that you will remain absolutely ready to break the rules and shake things up when it is needed. For this I thank you.

Every Blessing,
Talitha

On Sunday afternoon I made a video clip of youth group members feeling awkward. You might ask why they were feeling awkward, after such a hugely delicious and successful BBQ fundraiser, when they ought to have been mostly feeling proud and maybe a little bit exhausted. Well, despite having spent the whole morning cooking and serving, these youth were ready and willing to keep working on our fundraiser. And what they did was to walk into various stores in Montclair Village, screw up all their courage to overcome embarrassment, and buy diapers. They got some rude looks and some carefully worded questions, and they all spent some time feeling extremely uncomfortable.

A good fundraiser has two parts. The first part is putting money to good use, and thanks to you, we have achieved that goal. When the receipts are all reimbursed and tallied up we expect we will send $900 to Help A Mother Out for their diaper distribution service. The second part is raising awareness, and that’s a trickier goal. We know that diapers are not covered by SNAP or WIC, and that impoverished families are struggling to keep their babies clean and dry. We know that a supply of disposable diapers can make the difference for a kid to be able to go to daycare, thus enabling their parent to go to work (daycares usually don’t accept cloth diapers, nor do most laundromats allow you to wash them). We know that corner stores are selling single diapers at a huge mark-up because some families can’t afford to buy them one package at a time. Statistics and figures can make these facts plain. But it’s harder to put your finger on why teenage girls get the stink-eye from fellow shoppers in the diaper aisle, or why our society believes in individual rather than communal responsibility for babies. Our teens felt just a taste of what it would be like to have social disdain directed at them. They are ready to be more empathetic and to stand in solidarity, now, with those who are being judged.

Now through Mother’s Day (May 10th) we will have a diaper bin at MPC collecting donated diapers. No matter your age, we hope you will buy some diapers to put in that bin. Size 3-5 are the most badly needed. If you are younger or older than “typical” parent ages, you might confuse people or get some stares when you pick up the diapers. But we are coming together and striking out against the judgment that shames people for their family situations, and we are trying to build a community where all of us – young, old, or in-between – can say to one another “we’ve got your back.”

Blessings,
Talitha

We are back from retreat! 29 youth and 5 adults crammed into the lodge at Zephyr Point Presbyterian Conference Center, and together we tackled racism and sexism. We used a verse from 1 John, “If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us; but if we confess our sins, God, who is faithful and just, will forgive us.” This verse was recited weekly in my Presbyterian church growing up. Although the words sin and confession are loaded terms, they work well if you apply them to racism and sexism, which we all could agree are sinful. We know that “if we say we have no racism” or “if we say we have no sexism” we deceive ourselves – they are so thoroughly imbedded in society that nobody can be pure and free of them, even on a subconscious level. We spent the weekend hunting for those little bits of discrimination lodged in our minds and hearts, and trying to bring them out into the light.

What touched me most was hearing from the girls. A lot of them attend schools where dress codes are strictly supervised for girls, and usually a non-issue for boys. One girl told of how she had worn a dress with straps that were too skinny, and she got sent home (a 15-minute errand) to get a cardigan to cover her shoulders. The message she heard from the teachers was that 15 minutes of her learning was less important than making sure the boys could concentrate without being distracted for even a moment by bare shoulders. This story quickly and enthusiastically devolved into satire… the boys acting like they couldn’t possibly listen to us if there was a bare shoulder anywhere in the room. It was pretty funny. But what touched me the most was that even while they fought for the freedom to wear what they wanted, the young women of this group were able to stop and confess that they also have sexist thoughts about what other people wear. Without even realizing it, they judge girls as being “fake” or “easy” or “attention-seeking.” So on the last morning we confessed our sins – specifically our internalized racism and sexism. We wrote our confessions on papers anonymously, and then we read them loud (to acknowledge them) and burnt them in a small fire (to forgive them and let go of them). My prayer is that this act of confession will enable us to move forward with a cleaner slate, being honest and open, and willing to be humble when we are wrong.

In other news… this weekend you received the news that I am the candidate for the new position of Associate Pastor! I look forward to preaching on May 3rd and to the conversation that will follow at the congregational meeting, and of course, if the way be clear, moving forward. The next steps in the process would be examination at SF Presbytery, ordination in New York City, and installation at MPC.

Some of you have asked about my job duties and how they will change after I am ordained to the new Associate Pastor position. The short answer is – I will order new business cards, and preach a little more often, but otherwise most of the changes will be so small that they might escape your notice. I will lift up a few of the changes in my Contact articles in the coming weeks, so they don’t pass by totally unrecognized. And I want to give huge thanks to the APNC members for their efforts: Marge Nicholson, Francie Chan, Frank Dauby, Steve McKiernan, Anna Santos, and Claire Kelly. You really did due diligence in discerning, searching, interviewing, and finalizing the plans. And your interview questions inspired and challenged me in wonderful ways. Thank you!

Every Blessing,
Talitha

Yes, it’s official, it’s been announced, and it’s even on social media… Michael and I are engaged. He proposed to me on a lovely hike up in Briones Regional Park last weekend. We were in a small group with two other people and two dogs, when the others mysteriously disappeared from our group, leaving the two of us alone in a gorgeously romantic hilltop location. I know now that the others were co-conspirators, but I was caught quite unawares. It felt spontaneous and surprising and truly wonderful.
Ever since then we have been caught up in a whirlwind of communication. Phone calls to tearful parents and shrieking nieces, texts to far-flung friends, and the overwhelming deluge of well-wishing on social media have kept us busy. In the midst of that flurry of activity it was wonderful to announce our engagement at Celebration on Sunday morning, and we both felt touched and grateful for such a supportive and loving community. If you want to see more of Michael, he is hoping to come to MPC at Tahoe… or, another thing you can do is bid at the auction this weekend. For the six winning bidders at a dinner hosted by Lee and Helen where Michael and I will be guests, we promise to share our #1 life-changing amazing relationship tip that anybody can use. So good luck on the bidding process.

In the midst of so much excitement I have felt my center being pulled in different directions. It might be the adrenaline, or it might be spiritual, but I remembered some important advice I heard in seminary, that goes something like this:
Spending time EVERY DAY in prayer and meditation is important for your well-being…
unless you are very busy.
When you’re busy, it’s not important – it’s essential.
It is said that Martin Luther, along similar lines, recommended half an hour per day – except when busy, when only a full hour will do. In the interests of not flying off my rocker, I’m going to meditate even more than usual… and attempting to be calm even if my brain is chattering full of plans and ideas while I do so. I will be on retreat with the youth this weekend, and will be happy if I can snatch even a few minutes for meditation in the midst of all the fun.
Thanks for sharing the love, everyone!

Blessings,
Talitha

Comment of the day goes to the new girl. Maybe about five years old, young enough that she wanted to sit in her mom’s lap during the Godly Play story. Of course we had a bunch of kids on laps this week, whether a parent’s lap or an older sibling’s… the Godly Play circle on Easter was crowded, cozy, close, very full.

We tell the whole story of Jesus, from birth to crucifixion (what’s that? someone asked) and the mystery of life after death. We take the story out of its straight line from beginning to end, and put it in a circle so it can go on forever. We ask the children, “I wonder which part of this story was the most important?” and they give various responses, agreeing or disagreeing with one another, offering different reasons why. There were a lot of good responses to that question, but only one of them caused my jaw to drop. The new girl, her small hand still high in the air, said “the part where it was the women who went to see him, because usually men get to do the important stuff, but the women did that part.”

I gave her “comment of the day” (secretly, in my mind – we don’t have prizes or up-vote buttons in Godly Play) because to me that is the part that so many people miss. The backwards way of Christ’s life, where the last are first, and the first are last, where the outsiders are on the inside, and the deprivileged become important, is at the center of the Gospel. Jesus said, “Unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of God” (Mt18:3). And I thank this little child for bringing me back to the center of the story.

I was reminded, too, of my commitment to write some more women’s Godly Play stories. Do you know the story of the woman who anointed Jesus’ feet? Four different versions of that story are told in the four gospels, and in two of them it is said, “wherever the gospel is proclaimed in the whole world, what she has done will be told in remembrance of her.” The words at the end are nearly the same as our commandment to celebrate communion “in remembrance of me” (of Christ). Yet the story is not told often, and we don’t remember her much. The rock musical Jesus Christ Superstar is a notable exception that includes a song about the anointing, and Judas’ confronting her, at the very beginning. But I think she deserves more… a Godly Play story, and perhaps a few sermons. Stay tuned, and I will let you know when I need some play-testers to help play with the story.

Every Blessing,
Talitha