Montclair Presbyterian Church

I’ve been out sick for a few days. I’m back to work today, but too late to get a regular piece written for Contact. If you call me, you can hear my nice baritone voice on the phone – the remnants of the cold I’m getting over.

I’ll use this slot to get in a quick reminder for Youth Group members and families however —
This Sunday is our Christmas Party! Wear your best Christmas sweaters, hats, antlers, or haloes… bring an inexpensive gift for the gift-exchange game… and be ready to SING. We begin at 5:30pm with study hall in the Family Room, followed by a 6:30pm pasta dinner (you can bring a side dish if you want, or just come… gluten-free is available), and from 7-9pm there will be games, singing, etc.

Thanks for your patience, while I took these much-needed sick days. May you all be healthy.
Blessings, Talitha

As part of our series on “discovering choices,” the MPC Youth Group recently spent a meeting discussing how we make our choices for Christmas shopping. For some youth, this is one of their first real budgeting and buying experiences, using money saved up from odd jobs or babysitting to try to bring joy to their family and friends. We watched a fun video (only 3 minutes – give it a look) challenging us to simultaneously spend less and give more. And no, it wasn’t referring to the mad dash of sale-shopping we have just witnessed as people snatch up deals at 75% off, 85% off, 95% off (which leaves us wondering why our corporate overlords literally pay us to purchase their products far below retail prices). No, “spend less and give more” was calling us to find simpler ways to do the whole holiday shopping/giving process… Spending time instead of money, purchasing experiences rather than objects, sending gifts that are practical and homemade (perhaps edible), and making significant charity donations to bring real peace on earth.

Our church knows about this, of course. Giving To The World has been allowing us easy ways to make “alternative” gifts that are much closer to the core of Christmas’ meaning for many, many years (Editor’s note: Visit the GTTW table at Family Hour Dec. 6, 13, and 20th). And I know for a fact that this congregation is full of cooks, artisans, bakers, and expertly crafty up-cyclers, rich with talent and experience, who make simple, delicious, non-polluting and meaningful gifts… without contributing too much credit card debt to the grand total of $465,000,000,000 that America annually spends on Christmas. We know the importance of spending our money in the local economy, and the importance of investing in quality rather than quantity. Some of us even choose to opt out of the gift bonanza, and just keep it simple.

My favorite Christmas memory as a child was waking up to find sleds in the living room… and all of our stuffed animals, who had been liberated from our beds by Santa and his elves, were playing in and around the sleds. It was a snowy winter in New York and we made good use of those sleds. But the surprise and delight of finding all our stuffed animals posed and playing together actually overshadowed the sleds as gift-objects, and became an enduring tradition in the Given/Phillips household. On the other hand, there were those days when it felt like we just sat in the living room unwrapping and opening boxes for hours. The interminable parade of scarves and sweaters and interesting kitchen implements seemed to go on forever in such a large family, and held no such delight.

We have a lot of choices when it comes to the holidays, and I’d encourage you not to let anybody else’s expectations rule your choices this year. Spend if you will, but don’t count or compare. Craft and bake and upcycle gifts if you can, but don’t let the oppressive standards of the age of Pinterest (where perfect crafts are competitively photographed from every perfect angle) discourage you. Give as much as you can, keeping in mind the great charity options that allow your tiny bit of money to bring great peace, joy, and hope to those in deepest need. Above all, give generously, without strings attached – whether it is of your money, your time, your talent, or the greatest gift of all, yourself.

Every Blessing,
Talitha

Dear friends,
This week I preached on sabbath-keeping, and how it can make us into braver, more generous people. I spoke mostly poetically about it, painting large brushstrokes over the various ways the sabbath commandments were followed by ancient Israel and could be practiced again today. But some of you are pragmatists, so to balance out the poetry, here are some practicals: my list of the top five things YOU can do to keep the Sabbath.

1) Turn off your phone. I don’t mean silence it, I mean turn it ALL THE WAY OFF, and leave it in a drawer, so you can’t absently check it. Better yet, turn off all the household technology, and enjoy old-fashioned pastimes for a few hours or a day. This is not because there’s anything wrong with technology or inherently better about old-fashioned stuff – I’m no Luddite – but because our technology use often becomes so automatic, we cease to think about it. When we carry phones with us, we are always available for interruption.

2) Prep or postpone your work. For whatever time slot you’ve chosen as your sabbath, whether it’s a weekend day or a random Wednesday evening, make sure to get the work out of the way ahead of time or do it later. For example, prepare extra food ahead of time, so you can eat out of the fridge, and/or leave the dishes in the sink to do them the next day. This might seem baffling. How does this count as sabbath? You’re still doing the same amount of work! But that’s where sabbath differs from vacation. Sabbath doesn’t necessarily reduce our actual workload. Instead, it constrains it – by establishing sacred hours, upon which work may not intrude.

3) Consider other workers. Whose labor makes your lifestyle possible? Many people labor under such conditions that make resting nearly impossible. Can you advocate for a higher minimum wage, or better protection for sick days? Sick days can often be seen as retroactive sabbaths, the consequence of pushing a frail human body too far and too long. Yet people are often punished – formally or informally – for taking them. Then, there are those whose work never stops. Can you generously thank (and tip, if it’s appropriate) the workers who always labor straight through holidays, such as nurses, waiters, and bus drivers? And think carefully before you choose to shop at midnight on Thanksgiving, keeping in mind those who are giving up their holiday for you.

4) Think about a sabbatical. Are you burning out? I have no power over your places of employment and your other volunteer service positions, but if you need to take a break from responsibilities at church, I will back you up on that 100% and we will find others to rotate into leadership. Nothing here is so urgent that it is worth the cost of your health and balance. What’s more, as Presbyterians, we believe in rotation of leadership that gives everyone a chance to stretch their capacities in service. Let go of “I need to do it” and “I’m the only one who can.” God’s got this – it’s not all about you.

5) Brace for impact. Who is going to complain first, when you take a sabbath or sabbatical? Will your children whine about eating leftovers? Will your boss send you angry emails if you don’t pick up your phone on the weekends? For many of us, the biggest complaint will come from within; “BUT YOU HAVE TO WORK,” our internalized guilt system will start loudly and frequently beeping with alarm. Give it a chill pill. The world will continue without you for a day. And perhaps, just perhaps, the peace you experience will eventually spread to those who are initially upset by it.

May you both receive and give God’s sacred gift of rest this holiday.

Every Blessing,
Talitha

Last Sunday in the wake of the terrible Paris attacks I prayed for imams and all Muslim leaders who need to reclaim and interpret their religions so that the world doesn’t mistakenly allow Daesh (a better term for the so-called “Islamic State”) to be accepted as a valid interpretation for Islam. My prayer, if you will, was for those who are fighting the theological and ideological fight to keep their religion from being hijacked.

But as I perused the news today, that prayer stuck in my throat. The prayer is answered, in a way, but there’s a new prayer. The first prayer was answered when #notinmyname started trending worldwide as Muslims (from teenagers on Instagram, to elders and clerics) came out to loudly denounce the “Islam” supposed practiced by Daesh. They are doing a great job. But are we?

Friends, I am sorry to say that we need to pray for ourselves, and for Christians worldwide, to keep our religion from being known as a religion of hatred and intolerance. I’m talking about the anti-refugee sentiment, the merciless attempts at border-closing, and some quite unabashed hatred of our supposed enemies.

For is it not violence to slam an open gate shut?
Is it not violence to deny shelter, food, water, and protection to those who have none? If a poor one dies for lack of food, while we have food and could give it, their death is on our hands, according to a long tradition of our faith and other faiths:

You shall welcome the stranger, for you were once strangers (says the Hebrew scripture Leviticus 19:34).

You shall welcome the stranger, for I am the stranger: whatever you do to the least of these my brothers and sisters, you do to me (says Jesus in Matthew 25:40).

Many of you heard the good news announced on Sunday, that the refugees from Honduras with whom we have covenanted for support were finally and fully granted asylum to stay legally in the USA. We know, from walking this road with them, that the process of seeking asylum was far from easy. We know that even now it will still be hard and they will continue to need support as they build a permanent life here. But we also know that it is not only our religious duty, but our delight and our joy to be able to welcome them here. We are so privileged to be able to be of service in such a valuable way.

So let’s leave the “war on Christianity” and the Starbucks holiday cups far behind. Christianity is not, and never should be, a religion that draws lines keeping some out and others in. We need to proclaim loudly, not just with words but in clear action, that we worship and serve the Christ who was a refugee child, and who was born in a manger because there was no room in the inn. May our hearts and doors and governmental policies be open wide to welcome him this year.

Every Blessing,
Talitha

My job really hasn’t shifted much since my ordination. I do appreciate it when you call me Rev., of course, and relish the opportunity to wear fancy stoles (Advent is coming soon!) but in the day-to-day business, not much has changed. I have however taken on some of those “extra duties as assigned,” and here’s the newest one: Presbytery service.

Yes, Presbytery, those daylong regional gatherings of pastors and elders, where much is discussed, and many (many) reports are given. Gone are the days when I could stroll in fashionably late, because now I’m in charge of PowerPoint slides for the whole meeting!

Running a slideshow is good for me because I’m easily distracted if my mind is allowed to go free-range and cage-less. It is hard for anyone to stay fully present for an 8-hour-long meeting, but some find it easier than others, and I definitely count myself with those others. If my hands and mind aren’t sufficiently occupied during a meeting, they usually end up on my phone and social media – at first I do this to share an insight from the meeting, but then I look at videos of cats falling down, and on and on. It’s hard to stay focused and I need some interventions. One is to just keep my hands busy by knitting or drawing. But another tactic I use is to give myself lots of little jobs to do, and Powerpoint is perfect for this; I have to keep track of business and edit motions as they are amended (and sometimes, the amendment to the amendment of the main motion…). At the very least, I have to sit in the front row looking like I understand what’s going on as I click through the slides. So I’m happy to give up my late Presbytery arrivals in exchange for this small but important role.

To me, the difference between sitting through a meeting vs. Powerpointing through a meeting is like the difference between silent meditation and walking meditation. I’ve never been fantastic at the totally silent kind of meditation. My monkeymind is just too active for that. But walking slowly and mindfully, perhaps repeating a word or prayer with each step, is the kind of meditation that allows me to truly relax and open up. I am grateful that we know both kinds of meditation – contemplative and active. I welcome you all to find the kind that suits you, whether that’s keeping your hands busy by coloring in church on Sunday morning, or by taking on a bigger role such as a service position at church. We don’t have Powerpoint here, but we do have sound system operators, lay readers, ushers, and a large group of unofficial newcomer greeters who keep their minds busy even as they participate in Celebration.

I will end with a quick thanks for you, the MPC congregation, because when I talk about Presbytery or other conferences I’ve been to, nobody has ever asked “how long will that take you away from work?” Yes, these meetings take me and Ben away from the office, but not away from work. You all understand that this kind of wider church participation and service is not separate from, but is indeed a part of our work here as pastors, and that it is important for us to be so connected to God’s mission work both near and far.

Every Blessing,
Talitha

I returned last week from the Company of New Pastors gathering in St. Louis, MO, where I got to romp in bright-colored fall leaves, meet lots of new Presbyterian pastors, connect with old friends, and pray and sing. Although I will remind myself never to schedule TWO weeks of study leave, one right after another, I am still grateful for both of the conferences I attended in October.

The Company of New Pastors (CNP) was recommended to me by the San Francisco Presbytery as soon as I was ordained. It is a program that aims to strategically address the problem of new pastor burnout. Have you heard about the burnout rate for new pastors? It is staggering – about a third of those who graduate seminary (including pastors, chaplains, youth ministry workers and more) have left the field within 5 years. This statistic may seem incredible, and compared to other graduate-level professions it is quite notable, but it does seem true given my circle of seminary friends and their experiences in the first years of ministry.

The Presbyterian national office is doing what it can to keep our collective talents, education, and vocation from being needlessly burned out. And studies show that an effective way to do that is to have a cohort of peers and mentors meet regularly. It actually doesn’t even matter if you like or dislike your cohort, or if they seem supportive or dysfunctional – simply having a cohort adds an extra measure of probability for you to stay in ministry. So I went to St. Louis last week, and I met my cohort. There are nine new pastors, and two experienced mentors. The program is simple – we covenant together to try to pray daily, and to hold one another accountable for that. We are doing monthly online hangouts, reading and discussing books together, and will have in-person meetings every 8 months, during our first five years in ministry. It is simple, but I trust that it will be effective.

I think everybody needs a cohort, from time to time. Especially when we go through new experiences or drastic changes, it helps so much to know that we are not alone. That is an important part of what I do in Youth Group ministry. Our retreats are bonding experiences for them to become closer to one another and learn to trust, support, and rely on one another as they go through life. In this case, they are doing this with fellow teenagers, but whether your cohort is by age or by experience, it can be an important source of spiritual strength. You may have an idea for a new cohort at the church, and if you do, I will definitely support you in that! For now, I’ll invite you to take a peek at the Youth Group cohort on the retreat (our Flickr page is here: Youth Retreat photos) and also to think about two other cohorts at the church.

1. We have a Grief and Spirituality Group, which meets monthly (2nd Monday of the month, 3-4:30pm, Thornhill Room). Mourning can be an isolating and difficult path, so having fellow travelers on that road is helpful. If you are grieving the loss of a partner, parent, child, or friend – no matter how large or small, recent or distant – you are most welcome to come and share in this community of support.
2. This may be the first you hear of another brand new group, called “In Sickness and Health.” (EDIT: 1st meeting is scheduled for Wednesday, Nov 18th from 2-3:30pm in the Family Room.) This is in response to some of the needs that we are seeing in our congregation. It will be a group that gathers together both those who are dealing with serious illnesses, and their family members or spouses. People who are ill often can attend (in a medical setting) a support group for people with the same diagnosis. And your partner or spouse might simultaneously go to a support group for caregivers. Those separate support groups are appropriate in a medical context, but in a spiritual context like our church, we want to bring both sides of the story together, knowing that we all share in one another’s suffering. It will be a simple program, centered around your experiences. Please let me know if you are interested in participating! I am hoping that 2pm on the 3rd Wednesday of the month will work for most people. The only qualification is that you are dealing with an illness – yours or a loved one’s. You can come together or alone.

Thanks for walking this road together. I pray we may do so for a long time.

Every Blessing,
Talitha

The Rev. Talitha plots her next move: Wednesday night church gatherings!

I pitched this idea to you in May, and got enthusiastic support from Session, the Children and Youth Education Committee, and many individuals. So let’s put wings on it and get ready to fly.

Intergenerational Bible Study is going to be a Wednesday night series, and everybody is invited, no matter what your age, philosophy, or background may be. The idea was inspired by two children who each said (separately!) “I wish we had more time to learn about the Bible” and a youth who slipped a note in the suggestion box saying “Youth Group would be awesomer if we talked about God more.” Heaven help us if we do not rally the community together to answer these sacred calls!

DATES: We’ll set aside Wednesdays from October 7th through November 18th. Our time slot will be 6 to 7:30 (6 to 6:45 for dinner, 6:45-7:30 for Bible Study).

DINNER: the idea is that you should be able to show up empty-handed, straight after work or wherever your day takes you. So, rather than potlucking it, we will cook a simple meal for you. Volunteer cooks are welcome, as are volunteer cleaner-uppers, and there will be a basket to receive a few dollars to cover the cost of ingredients. I am used to planning meals for a group of youth that includes gluten-free, vegan, and other dietary requests, so we should have you covered.

BIBLE STUDY: Please, bring your doubts, your questions, your own faith, and your life experience. This will not be a lecture but a community-led query process, and you will respond to the text with conversation, art, poetry, etc. We hope that this open method will allow you to feel comfortable exploring our sacred texts and stories, while also providing fodder for the intellectually curious to chew on. There will be a table for children, a table for youth, and one or more tables for adults to have their reflection and conversation. Volunteer table-leaders don’t need a lot of instruction ahead of time.

LIVING THE QUESTIONS: if you want to take part in this adult education class, it will begin at 6:45 PM so that you can go directly from our dinner to the class. Please let us know if you are coming for dinner though.
THIRD WEDNESDAYS: we will have dinner at 6 and attend the Taizé service together at 7.Child-friendly activities will be included in the Taizé service on these days.
RSVP: It’s open to all but a head-count would really help us plan. So, just talk to me or email me. Include your dietary restrictions if any, and your interest in volunteering for any of the slots (cooking, cleaning up, leading a table discussion, collecting money, perhaps helping to organize all the volunteers?)

Thanks!
Rev. Talitha

It’s visitor season at MPC! Thanks in large part to our friendly outreach booth at the farmer’s market, and also to all the friends who say “my church does this fun thing in the summer… you should come…” our August Sundays are a major draw for new visitors. Come to think of it, maybe it’s also that we worship at 5 PM, meaning that those who wish to can STILL worship at the church of sleeping-in-late and make it there on time. Or maybe it’s the tasty BBQ and incredible potluck dishes. Well because of all these reasons and more, we see a lot of visitors in August.

Now a few reminders are in order. The first is to remind all of you “old-timers” what it feels like to walk into a new place for the first time. I recently had that experience on my vacation, in a cafe in Tacoma WA. It was a small place where everyone knew each other, and I couldn’t tell who was staff and who were customers. I freaked out silently for a few minutes until they welcomed me and dispelled the confusion.

Most people enter a new place subconsciously assuming they don’t belong, and any small question can seem huge. Where is the nursery, for example? Can I drink from my water bottle in the sanctuary or is that rude? Who are those three people at the front of the church? Am I going to have to shake everyone’s hands? Am I going to have to kneel and stand up at the right times? Do Presbyterians give communion to ex-Catholics? What if I get something wrong? Did I park in an OK spot? All of these are normal feelings when you’re in a new place. So this is why we always have a “welcome” at the beginning of the service, orienting everyone to people, places, lavender cards, and what direction to go for coffee. It’s also why we include short stage directions throughout the service, like “please stand,” “the next hymn is number 525,” and “let’s say the Charge, which is printed in your bulletin.” These are important ways to welcome people who may feel disoriented. In this line, if you are giving an Invitation, please make sure to give enough information. What is your name? What does PCUSA mean? What is the General Assembly, the Friday Night Walks, or CIPL? Assume nothing! (And still fit it in one minute – I know, it’s hard).

The second reminder is that people need to learn names. We usually don’t feel bad if you say “I don’t think I have met you before.” I swear this is true, even IF you have actually met and forgot it. We might see someone whose face looks familiar, but we think “I should remember them, I can’t believe I’ve forgotten who that is,” and instead of speaking we pass them by, feeling embarrassed, and nobody is happy. So don’t do that! Go ahead and say “I don’t think we’ve met,” or even, “I know we’ve met, but I’m so sorry, I’ve forgotten your name.” I promise the embarrassment won’t last long, but the impact of your honesty will. In this line, also, you can wear name tags! They are so, so helpful.

Finally, be friendly. Don’t assume someone else will come and do the welcoming. It’s up to all of us. And it can be as simple as a smile. Twice this past week, when I was at the MPC farmer’s market booth, I gave someone a big smile… and they smiled back, walked on, and halfway down the block did a U-turn to come back and ask something about our church. The power of a smile, a kind “hello,” or even a hug, can take someone from stranger to one of the family.

Jesus comes to us often in the face of the poor, the little children, and the stranger. Let’s make sure that if he comes to church this Sunday, he won’t go away without a warm welcome and a plate of delicious food.

Every Blessing,
Talitha

This morning my phone “pinged” at me with news from Twitter. Twitter is not my favorite social media platform, but it has its uses. I began using Twitter to participate in conversations at General Assemblies of the Presbyterian Church (hence my first twitter handle, the cute “@presbybug”). It’s a way to converse with strangers who are in the same giant room as you, and keep people easily updated with how the votes are going. I do still use it in that way at presbytery meetings, but less often. These days, when my phone twits at me, it’s much more likely to be a fast-breaking news story from some of the activists I follow. By tailoring my feed to focus on activists, I get to hear the voices of those we miss on mainstream media. And I try to bring a progressive Christian faith response to the news – hence my new handle @faithresponding (follow me to see more!)

My phone lit up this morning. All sorts of people were tweeting and re-tweeting the news that a police dashboard camera video, from the case of Sandra Bland, was released and that it contained some glaring errors – loops, repeats, cars disappearing in the middle of the road, and no timestamps to be seen anywhere. This of course wasn’t a total surprise, since Sandra Bland’s case has been surrounded by scrutiny following her unexplained death in police custody on July 13th. With all the fear and grief and controversy, people are right to be suspicious that we may not have been told the truth.

While I am not an investigator and we clearly don’t have the full story yet, our faith needs to respond.
The Old Testament Prophets helpfully offer some outrage, roaring with indignation whenever the rights of the innocent are denied. When a failure-to-signal warning becomes a death in a holding cell, the prophet Amos calls out,
“For three transgressions of [America], and for four, I will not revoke the punishment, because they trample the head of the poor [people of color] into the dust of the earth, and push the afflicted out of the way.” Amos 2:6-7
When CNN commentators say Sandra Bland wouldn’t be dead if she hadn’t had a problem with an “arrogant attitude” – as if that were worthy of the death penalty – the prophet Hosea rails against those who “feed on the sin of my people,” who are “greedy for iniquity.” Hosea 4:8
When trusted officers betray their standards and vows with deceit and cover-ups, Isaiah thunders
“The Lord expected justice
but saw bloodshed,
righteousness,
but heard a cry.” Isaiah 5:7
We are people of the Word, and these words are powerful. No, we don’t believe in a God who stands idly by while injustice occurs. We believe that all people must be held accountable for their actions, and we believe all that is hidden must come to light. With prayer we await the results of this investigation, and we mourn with those who are feeling sad, angry, and terrified in the wake of Sandra Bland’s death.

Every Blessing,
Talitha

At press time I will be halfway to Seattle, heading up to camp on Mt Rainier and play with my baby nephew Tom (and some adult family members, but of course they are secondary to the baby). Thanks to the SPLASH team for issuing a challenge to reduce transit-related carbon; I’ll be taking Amtrak each way and hoping to enjoy the ride. Follow me on social media if you want to see the beauty of the Coast Starlight route.

Blessings,
Talitha