Montclair Presbyterian Church

When I was 7 years old and living in Grosse Pointe, Michigan, my family belonged to a neighborhood pool complex. Early on summer mornings, when the dew was still clinging to the grass and the temperature of the air was still reasonable, I rode my bike down to the pool for my swimming lesson. One morning in particular, the sky was overcast and the air was cooler than usual. Getting into the pool was as painful as having my hair brushed, but not getting into the pool was even worse because of the cool air outside. After completing the lesson, we were allowed to jump off of the diving boards. At that age I was still fearless so of course I wanted to jump off of the high dive. In my mind I was in the air for an eternity so the jump was much more like flying off of a cliff and into a river miles below.
To avoid becoming an icicle in between the pool and the high dive, I ran-walked as fast as I could without eliciting a whistle blow from the lifeguard. I waited my turn at the bottom of the ladder until the child who had just jumped made a loud splash in the water. My hands reached for the rungs on the ladder and I moved hands and feet together as fast as I could to get to the top. Slippery hands, slippery feet, chattering lips, and goosebumps everywhere are not ideal companions when one is trying to climb. When I got to the top rung I quickly grabbed for the bar and slipped. Before I knew what was happening, I was falling through the air with nothing near enough to grab. What seemed like slow motion was in reality probably 2 or 3 seconds. Bodies falling don’t take long to reach their destination. The cement was where I landed and for a few seconds it felt as if I were in a bubble and sounds were muted. Whistles were blowing, people were shouting and before I could make sense of what had happened, people were leaning over me telling me not to move. Looking into their faces as they knelt down beside me or stood over me and peered, I began to feel afraid. Fear was the mask they were each wearing.
Within a short time, the siren of an ambulance began to howl, getting closer and closer. Lying on the cold and rough ground covered with a blanket, I didn’t understand the ambulance was for me. When they loaded me into the ambulance and pulled out of the pool complex, they did not blare the siren. That might have been fun! Sometime later that day the doctor met with my parents and said they had done as many tests as they could and he could not find a single thing wrong with me. He was releasing me to them but warned them to keep an eye on me because he believed something could still arise. As the 4th of 6 children, I enjoyed the attention that day after I arrived home.
It wasn’t until many years later that I began to wonder how I could have fallen 20 feet (approx.) on to my back on the cement and not suffered even a scratch or a bruise anywhere on my body. Is that physically possible? Was I just very lucky or did God intervene in some way? If God intervened, that raises a whole other set of questions. Why would God protect me and not so many others? Does God intervene in the world like that? How could God intervene sometimes and not other times? My cousin fell on to the cement at a football game and is now paralyzed. Was he just unlucky? Could God have intervened? People talk about miracles. What is a miracle? Did I experience a miracle? At the very least I am decidedly lucky. Daily I keep my eyes and ears open for how God might be at work in our world. And I wonder…

Last Sunday evening I went to our junior and senior high youth group. The first 10 years I was a pastor, I had the privilege of leading various youth groups. I have missed hanging out with the youth in the past 10 years! Youth always have different ways of seeing and thinking about the world and God.

We tackled a big question on Sunday evening. Our youth leader, Taliltha Given Phillips, drew two continuums on the white board. One continuum had “God has total control” at one end and “God has no control” at the other end. Just above that she drew another continuum with “God is good” at one end and “God is not good” at the other end. She asked the youth where they were on the continuum. We talked about some situations where people ended up being harmed in some way and then looked at whether we believe God was involved or not involved. The youth almost instantly brought up the holocaust. Why waste time on more minor examples?? One of the suggestions raised in general was that God is in total control but we just don’t understand why things happen and we can’t always see what things might be necessary in the bigger picture. There were others who thought God’s control has to do with trying to get us to do certain things and sometimes we listen and sometimes we don’t so bad things happen. What became evident in the course of the discussion is that it’s tough to be in the middle of the continuum of God’s involvement. In some ways it would be easier if God controlled everything or nothing. If you take the position that God controls some things, it raises questions about which things and why. If God can intervene now and then, why doesn’t God intervene in the most horrific things? Is there rhyme or reason to why/when God intervenes or is it random? If God does not intervene in something like the holocaust or genocide in Darfur, does that mean God is not good? How do we ever really know when God is intervening if we cannot see God? I am not sure what the youth were thinking by the time they left on Sunday night. They probably left with more questions than they had before they arrived! The church’s job is not so much to fill them with dogma as it is to teach them how to think about God and the world and humans and the relationship between them. All in all, I think the evening was a success.

The bummer about being a preacher is that I have to pay attention to what I am preaching and sometimes it’s stuff I would rather not think about at all. Take economic justice for example. It’s one thing to preach about making invisible people visible and it’s another thing to think about what I personally would have to do to make that a reality. Isn’t it ironic that preachers preach about economic justice and most churches are structured in such a way that the senior or head pastor is paid the most, then the associate pastor, then the musician, then the Education person, then the office staff and then the grounds or custodial staff? Why on earth don’t we all get paid the same? Is one person’s work really worth that much more? Our custodian was on vacation during the month of December (you know that time of year where everything happens). Daily I felt her importance because of all of the tasks that were not being done as she usually did them. Should I really be paid more than she is paid? On some level it makes sense that we would structure salary according to education and experience. At the same time, is that enough to justify the pay differential? The problem is that in order for all of us to be paid the same, those of us who are getting paid more would have to be willing to be paid less. Am I willing to be paid less so that my staff is all paid the same? This is where the rubber meets the road and is probably why I have yet to hear of a church where the entire staff is paid the same salary. Change begins with me. Am I willing? As much as I’d like to stop thinking about it, I can’t. Sometimes that’s what preaching does to me. The words grab me and won’t let me go even long after they have been preached…

Last Sunday in church I lugged a suitcase in to Celebration filled with heavy theological books. While I was talking with the children, I had them feel how heavy it was and then I opened it and pulled out the books that I had titled with things like “anger,” “guilt,” “hurt feelings,” and “the unwillingness to forgive.” The kids decided it was very heavy and they would rather not carry something like that around if they had a choice. I explained that every year we get to decide which baggage we carry with us into the New Year and which baggage we leave behind. The way to decide is to ask ourselves, “Is there something I still need to learn or get from carrying this baggage?” An example of baggage we could let go of is being angry with our brother for teasing us 5 years ago (and we don’t even remember the specifics). An example of baggage we might choose to continue to carry is sadness over moving away from a friend. We might choose to continue to carry that sadness if we think it will help us remember our friend. Each of the kids and adults were invited to write down on a sheet of paper the baggage they want to leave behind this year. Those who had written something then brought the paper forward and deposited it into the empty suitcase. We zipped it up, gave all the baggage inside to God in prayer and then continued our celebration. After the service, a four year old boy approached one of our staff members and told her about the baggage he was going to continue to carry and the baggage he was leaving behind. What an inspiration he is to me and to all of us. If we had begun this process when we were four, our loads would be much lighter by now! May you experience freedom in your spirit as you choose the baggage you will carry into this New Year.

Dear Friends,

What a joy it has been this past week to listen to the sounds of the season and be touched by the children who presented to us a slightly different version of the 3 wise people and the shepherd! The Soup Supper and Christmas Carol sing last Wednesday was a great time to sit down and enjoy a relaxed meal together (thanks to Jim Allardice, Hope Boije and Bill Neely who prepared the food!), and then sing our hearts out together with a wonderful mix of popular songs and Christmas hymns, which Kim so ably played on the piano and organ.

Believe it or not, after having such a fabulous time in Celebration with the children’s presentation of the Christmas story, I went home feeling very annoyed. Why? For 5 out of the past 7 Sundays that I have been here, Albert has shown up. Albert is a homeless man who is also schizophrenic. He is harmless, as are most homeless and mentally-ill people, and he is coming because these are desperate times and he wants money. Albert has a history here because he used to come once or twice a year and he was tended to by Karen Stokes and one of you. If what he is saying is true, he is a Vet and he is sometimes employed and sometimes finds places to live that are not outside. So why I am annoyed? I find myself resenting the fact that he waits for Celebration to end and then wants to talk to me. How am I supposed to greet you and get to know you if I am distracted by Albert? A few weeks ago I was greeting a whole family who was visiting and Albert jumped right in the middle of the conversation. So there I was, trying to do ministry and Albert just wouldn’t leave. Each week he has come I have taken time to speak with him and he has had the nerve to tell me how unwelcome he feels by the congregation. My feelings of annoyance with him have been strong enough that I know I need to pay attention. Sometimes God uses those feelings to wake me up.

Do you think it’s possible God has sent Albert to us? When I was newly ordained 20 years ago, I remember someone telling me to pay careful attention to the disguises Jesus would wear when showing up in various places on earth. One of those disguises, of course, was as a homeless person. It’s ironic, isn’t it, that in this season where we anticipate and celebrate the incarnation of God in Jesus, born to parents without a place in which to give birth, that I could feel so annoyed by someone who is homeless? Am I annoyed because Albert has the nerve to ask for what he needs? Am I annoyed because he is taking my time? Am I annoyed because I don’t want to give him money? Am I annoyed because he is such a tangible reminder of how so much of the world lives and I am called to do something to alleviate that kind of suffering but feel overwhelmed by it?

What would happen if every time Albert showed up, we believed him to be Jesus? What would we do differently? What would we say differently? How would we treat him differently? I don’t have the answers, but you can be sure I am asking myself these questions. How welcoming are we to all? How can we be welcoming without handing out cash to those in need? When I preached my sermon “Jesus is Coming – R U Ready” on November 28th, I had no idea Jesus might show up dressed like a homeless man. Maybe together we can provide an extravagant welcome.

Beth

Dear Friends,

Last Sunday in church we talked about being peacemakers. I was doing pretty well until Monday evening when I squabbled with someone in my family. It struck me again as I was stomping away that being truly committed to creating peace does not mean having no conflict with someone, but it does mean being respectful toward that person in the midst of the disagreement. Why is it that when it comes to family being respectful can be so difficult? Sometimes it’s hard to respect the other person and sometimes it’s hard to respect ourselves – by that I mean not giving up our own needs just because the other person is louder or needier or pushier or more forceful.

Recently I heard a sermon preached by Barbara Brown Taylor. She said, “Peace always involves a crisis of identity. You cannot have peace and stay exactly who you are or who you want to be.” I hadn’t thought of it in that way before and the image it brings up for me is that of a tug of war. Creating or achieving peace is often a tug of war between the parties. It never works well if one side is so much stronger than the other that it can pull the opposite side right into the mud. The process is one of give and take, down to the very elemental level of one on one relationships. When we find ourselves stuck on a position where we believe it has to be our way or no way, that should be an indication to us that we are not interested in peace or in peacemaking. It should also be an indication that we are not interested in the good of the whole as much as we are in our own position.

One of the gifts I have received from you in my time here so far is your openness. As I have been sharing ideas and thoughts and insights, so many of you have been open and curious and intrigued. I hope you are experiencing me in the same way. Our work together will continue to be so fruitful if we can keep listening to each other and stay open to each other’s thoughts and ideas.

It was my joy to spend some time with Doris Herrick last week. She misses all of you and appreciates all of the cards and calls and prayers. Doris has decided to undergo chemotherapy and her first treatment will be next week, just after she celebrates her 80th birthday on Sunday! Please continue to hold her and Don in your hearts.

I hope to see you Wednesday night for the Soup Supper and Christmas Carol Sing-Along. If you don’t drive at night but would like to attend, let us know.

Peace to you, Beth

Dear Friends,

In my almost 20 years of being ordained I have never had to call for backup on a Sunday morning! When I knew Saturday mid-day that I would not be able to make it to preach on Sunday morning, I thought about all of our amazing ordained people in the congregation. We are so gifted! Thank you to Vince Mok who responded so willingly to the call for help. What a comfort it was to me to know I was leaving you all in good hands while I missed you!

As we prepare to give thanks tomorrow, I am filled with gratitude for all of you and for this time in which we walk together on the interim path. You are a deeply compassionate and caring congregation. I invite you to take some time to reflect over this weekend on the past year in your life and in Montclair’s life. For what or whom are you thankful? Where have you seen God at work in you or in others?

This Sunday is the first Sunday of Advent and we begin Advent with the theme of Preparation. The text is from Matthew 24 and is about waiting and watching and being ready. Advent is a time for us to prepare our hearts again for Jesus to break in to the world and in to our lives. Advent is always a bit chaotic and this year will be the same! We are looking for where the hope is in the midst of the chaos.

On Wednesdays during Advent, I will offer a group experience on “Turning the Holiday Blues into Rainbows.” I know it’s a totally hokie title, but if you come to the group you’ll get to hear the explanation! We will meet Wednesdays from 1:00 to 2:00 pm in the Thornhill Room. If you are someone who has had personal experience with loss that impacts how you experience the holidays, this may be just the group for you. Even if your loss was many years ago, if it was someone with whom you were very close the loss may still feel fresh. Join us on Wednesdays, December 1, 8, 15 and 22 if you want support or want to give support during this time. Beth

Dear Friends,

What a joy it has been and continues to be to walk with you. This past week I have had the privilege of meeting with several of you one on one and with some of you for meals. I never take for granted the invitation to enter your lives in a different and more personal way. The sermon I preached about welcoming others into your homes resulted in enough invitations that I figure if I preach the same sermon once a month, I’ll have it made! Thank you for sharing yourselves with me and for including JE in some of the invitations.

One of my hopes during this Interim time is that you will feel able to trust me. Part of what will help with that is for us to get to know each other. When I have the chance to talk with you or have a meal with you, we begin to develop a relationship. Relationships are essential for building trust. Another one of my hopes is that you will feel cared for spiritually and emotionally. You can help me a great deal with that by letting me know when you are hurting or when someone else in the congregation you know is hurting or housebound or in need of a visit.

During Advent I will be offering a group experience to help deal with loss. I will tell you more about it in next week’s Contact. The holidays can be a difficult time for many of us due to family situations, health issues, the struggle to remain sober, or significant losses. We need to support one another during a time when the expectation is that we are happy and excited about celebrating Christmas and the New Year and the reality is that some are walking around with broken hearts. Stay tuned for more info.

Every day I look forward to what God has in store as I make my way to Oakland! Thanks for being you.

Beth.

Dear Friends,

The Presbytery meeting is over and our contract together stands! It was wonderful to be surrounded by a number of Montclair folks as the item was pulled from the Consent Agenda and someone stood up to ask how COM could have approved the contract when it is known that I am in a same sex relationship and I was part of one of the couples married by Rev. Janie Spahr. Rev. Karl Shadley did a beautiful job of stating that because I am a minister in good standing in this Presbytery the COM didn’t have to debate that point. When the vote was taken there were a number of no votes voiced but the motion carried to approve it. As we were getting up to hug each other, someone in the body asked for a hand count. The hand count was taken and there weren’t many who were against it! It appears those who voiced “no” were just doing it pretty loudly! Rev. Mary Naegeli then went up to the clerk and tried to file a stay of enforcement. By the end of the night she didn’t have enough signatures so it was simply filed as a dissent.

Much later in the evening the body gathered talked at length about the Danville Presbyterian Church leaving the denomination to go to the Evangelical Presbyterian Church. There was a great deal of pain expressed and a fair amount of disagreement over the terms that were agreed upon by the Church and the Gracious Dismissal Team. One pastor pointed out that their property and buildings are conservatively worth at least 25 million dollars and probably closer to 50 million in actuality. Danville’s financial responsibility to the Presbytery and the denomination is simply their per capita payment for the next five years and some missionary support (less than $50K) for the next five years. In the end, their request was approved by a fairly large margin. Many people are afraid a dangerous precedent has been set for churches wanting to change denominations.

Thank you for your emails and calls of encouragement and for showing up in person as you were able! I feel so privileged to be walking this journey with YOU!

Beth

Our first Sunday together was truly a Celebration!  We remembered those who have gone before us – the saints among us who have died.  We put their pictures up on the communion table and they were present with us.  We saw kids in costumes and kids who “came as themselves.”  We listened to an incredible anthem by the choir about light.  We heard that God has created us, called us by name, redeemed us, and then says to us, “You are precious in my sight and I love you.”  Each one of you is precious and as we begin our journey together during this Interim period, we are invited to see that which is precious in each other.  Don’t forget I have red vines in my office if you want to stop by and say hello!  Beth